Wednesday, September 1

This is worthy sharing.....

A response to Dr. Laura Schlesinger…

In keeping with Religion...

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are

from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not

Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and

age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual

uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most

women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -

Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I

smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he

should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to

do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a

lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees'

of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I

have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some

wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even

though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I

still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field,

as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester

blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the

trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just

burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-

laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)


2 comments:

  1. Owning a Canadian or two would be nice... or they could just come visit a lot!

    Seriously, though humorous, this response points out how so many people like to believe selective "truths."

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahahahahahahahahaha! I am quite literally weeping with laughter!
    I had not seen that, thanks for sharing it!

    If you want to laugh in a similar vein, the Daily Show from tonight (9-1) was pretty damn funny on Glenn Beck's selective "truths".
    Hilarious.

    How's this, I won't enslave any Canadians, so long as they bring me some Tim Horton's. Deal?
    ;)

    ReplyDelete

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