in honor of....

There are people who come into your life for a season, a  reason, a time that changes you for the better forever and shows new ways of seeing the world.

I recently lost just such a person.

Back in 1994, while fresh eyed and super-feisty, I applied for a job at a local community centre.

I was interviewed by the co ordinator and hired to be a one on one worker. 

Now let me also say, I was ready to battle the world head on, red headed and stubborn.....taking on every battle I came up against fighting for justice in every perceived injustice, fighting for life to be fair to young people. My goodness.... but it was exhausting.

While learning life lessons from the children I was working with, learning life isn't always fair to young people and older people alike; I moved up through the jobs, special needs worker, out of school care worker, superviser, acting OSC co ordinator.

This was stretched out across a turbulent 9 years, many staff changes and a co worker that made me want to pull out all my hair on a regular bases. Did I mention I was feisty?

The same man who hired me, became a trusted ally, the "go to" person when I thought I was going to simply explode in a fit of frustration or anger or sadness.

He taught me the art of listening first and reacting "appropriately", not just simply REACTING!

"Pick your battles" became a new mantra under his guidance and learn which ones have far reaching tentacles.

He gave me the gifts of respect and trust and always had time, even at the end of a 10 hour day, to hear out anyone who needed someone to care about the lives of children.

The community centre puts on regular events, seniors dinners, celebrations, etc.

There was not one event that I did not see J working hard at, washing dishes, handing out food, busy behind the scenes with a smile, his camera and all the patience of the world.

 Never too above it in position to get down and dirty and do whatever little job needed to be done. Setting an impressive example for the rest of us.

Over 30 odd years, this man whom I so respect, moved up from being a youth worker, teacher community centre co ordinator,  to being the heart beat of this particular community.

Anyone who passed through the halls was touched in some way by J's passion, dedication, commitment and well.....his sense of humour. He had a wonderfully dark sense of humour.

There were days as OSC co ordinator, that I found it extremely difficult to find any decency left in humanity. It is not easy being a child and after a particularly hard day of disclosures of abuse or neglect, J could walk into my office, give me a long look, and strip away all the stoic pretense I was carrying, allowing me to be vulnerable and cry like a child.

He just had a way of looking at you that made you blubber.

 It was crazy and it was so necessary.

Because of those moments, I have not become jaded as I was allowed to feel and not expected to suck it up. 

I changed jobs in 2000.

I left the employment of the out of school care and embarked on a personal journey, creating a theatre company for children and youth.

It was during my goodbye speech, given by J, who coined the phrase...." You can take the girl out of the community centre, but you can't take the community out of the girl," that once again,  reduced me to tears I didn't know needed to shed, at goodbye.

Funny thing is, I never really left.

I continue to work at this community centre although wearing a different hat,  contracted now to bring music and theatre  programs to young people.

J always showed an interest in what I was up to, supported me through some challenging first years and availed me of opportunities to grow as a company.

I was recently hired to go back to my roots in out of school care and facilitate a workshop on guiding childhood behaviours, to the new OSC staff.

I was hired by J.

 It  allowed me to complete a circle that began in his office all those years ago, bright eyed and super-feisty, well passionate.

It did not go unmentioned and I am glad I took a special moment to go and thank him for the continued faith, support and  the opportunity to make a difference.

 I am  a little calmer now. Still super-feisty however, I do pick my battles more carefully,  ( a little too passionately sometimes);I try to take time to listen and then  react, and I do try to have an ear to those who need it, even if they don't know they need it, making time for people to be to feel.

This is the legacy created by one man, one heartbeat of a community.

I am not alone, I am but one voice whose life was touched by a ray of light that changes the colours of the world you see forever.

I am deeply sad that this heartbeat was taken, mid pulse, from  our community, much  too soon. 

This is for him, a small note of tremendous appreciation and respect. 

A thank you if you will.

The pulse carries on.